949-No one steals weed from me and gets away with it. But this kids entire life already sucks so bad there’s nothing I can do to get him back
503-omg bro
Lawyer-What gear were you in the moment of impact?
Me- Gucci sweats and Nikes
541: i just popped her cherry like a needle to a soap bubble
318:i cant believe what just happened
337:what?
318: wellll lets just say never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
316: you know that feeling of happiness you get watching a slinky fall down the stairs…
620:yeah?
316: you gotta see how happy you get watching a dirty whore do it
604:i saved some chick from getting sexually assaulted last night
250:omg how?
604: I controlled my urges I guess
215:i just got fired from that job i got at the credit union for stealing 
267:obviously your gonna get caught stealing money from a bank dipshit
215: it gets better…. I stole pens
254: your soo lucky you have so many damn mirrors in your bedroom!
880:do you have any idea how much my windex bill is?
236:so amy text me last night and said come over, nobody is home…
1-236: SICKKKK, you get some?
236: NO! nobody was home…
224:i wanna buy a hooker
330:hookers are way tooo much money man just get a gf
224: you just spent 200 on your girls birthday dumbshit
330: touche. hooker it is
