413: I have been jacking off to fat chick porn lately because I feel its more realistic.
503: I just created a new move!!!!!
1503: what is it?
503: It’s called the Gorilla mask!
503: You shave your pubs and hide them in your pocket, then get a blow job from a girl pull out blow on her face then pepper her with the pubs in your pocket. looks just like chewbacca !
303:How did the turkey fly across the room
1303: Turkeys can’t fly you idiot
303: It just does
503: so why did you two break up.
360: I don’t know, because she’s a whore
503: tell me how you really feel. ha ha
360: I mean I gave her everything…
360: Except for loyalty… attention … and money.
503:hahahahahaha
303: Yeah then I went home took off all my clothes and slept under my desk. Woke up freezing and naked to my sister and her kids.
405: What happen to you last night?
1405: well i had open bar all night, I was wasted, tried to sleep on the fountain and in a McDonalds drive through.
405: you know last night was a Wed right?
1405: Fuck
1503: where did you go?
503: Soo the owner of the club brought me to the bar and told them to give me whatever I wanted all night… I got shit faced and now I am at the zoo wasted with fam.
1503: haha thats a terrible idea.
503: I just puked at the zoo, monkey expo
1503: you have issues
503: Ok whatever I don’t care at this point. I am puking and pushing a stroller at the zoo…hate my life right now
303: Name one thing your fat ass has always wanted but never had?
1303: A runners high
503: How do they get boiling hot and freezing cold water out of those bottle things in kitchens?
858: I dont know Im a skepic
