503- I ran out of water so now my fishies are swimming in beer
and urine.
(71) but know, liar kurtz a in based before that and i couldnt go time liberty til then. that was hast warning.
(16) did you just say liberty?
straight guy friend: omg just shagged a man
Girl: Nah your messing with me 
xxxxx
Straight guy friend: no joke didnt even wake him up
(503) im so upset right now. Here I am building my future with my own two hands and you are dancing with my future ex wife. Ps.I am not being productive today. I am hiding in a room, sleeping on the floor so no one can find me. shhhh…….
(479): im really glad i finally got to see your penis, now i know for sure it really is there.
(386): high fives are what awesome is made of…
