503: just saw a snuggie commercial… realized i’ve been wearing mine backwards all day… embarrassing
971: I fucked my dog last night
503: stop texting me you creep
619: Ever had a dirty sanchez from girl?
1619: Fuck no dude, that’s sick.
619: I think it’d be pretty sexy
541:your not gonna fucking believe who i just met!
503: who?
541: surgeon general, he offered me a damn cigarette
503: yeah right
541: dead serious then he stabbed a newborn
(972): Ok so im gonna let ya know when i want some dick and when we can do something bout it
(972): Not like i can get pregnant lol are you ok with that
(541): Yeah so dude i rolled over twice and was still on the bitch i was never in my whole life as scared i was then fuck that was weird.
(303): I just has really bad sex with a guy who’s name I have no idea. Yes, I am THE biggest WHORE you know.
(503): so today my boyfriend decides he wants to be sexy by taking my clothes off with his teeth,
too bad he ripped out my belly button ring.
(303): holy shit. you’re boyfriends dick is huge. i could barely fit it in my mouth.
909: I couldnt tell u what I would give for a cold bud
503: fuck. i want a warm bush
909: wait… the beer?
