360: It’s hard to find someone that can be kind and still isn’t affraid to throw her man against the wall and lick him from head to toe. Lust…now that’s a drink.
BF: Haha babe relax haha I just checked my phone and it was blow’n up!
GF: Well be nice.. I have feelings too, not just a nice pussy 
503: So i said, if i cant have you at least youll have to explain a black eye to your next joe the pipelayer…
541: I had a sandwich before I went to bed last night. And I woke up and it was on my chest and I stil had a piece of meat in my mouth that I proceeded to eat. Gross
Guy: Show me your tits or no add
Girl: Thats not nice!
Guy: Fair request is it not!
Girl: HAHA NOO NOO
Guy: Sure it is you get to be my friend on here and i get to see your big boobs.
Girl: no thats not fair!!!!
Guy: I’m shocked cus juding by your pics you love to show them off!!!
(303) Woke up this morning with a dollar bill stuck to my ass. A tip, maybe?
541: I hear it’s not considered rape if you yell surprise first!
503: So i think i came up with a new sex term… last night, our first night in san juan del sur, nicaragua, i fucked a chick on the beach, pulled out, blew a load on her stomach, then reached down and grabbed a handfull of sand and threw it on her stomach!!! she got SANDBLASTED hahahaha, then I ran into the ocean laughing my ass off, she even thought it was kinda funny… stupid chicks
541: Sometimes to bang a cougar you have to play Wii with her kids.
541: CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely. I recorded it for us.
