360: woke up this morning with 4L of chocolate icecream ALL through my bed and on myself.. what a night.
BF: Haha babe relax haha I just checked my phone and it was blow’n up!
GF: Well be nice.. I have feelings too, not just a nice pussy 
541: I had a sandwich before I went to bed last night. And I woke up and it was on my chest and I stil had a piece of meat in my mouth that I proceeded to eat. Gross
503: Am i dog?
1-503: stop fishing for complements
503: IM NOT! my neighbor is following me around with a pooper scooper…WTF
541: holy shit the bananas on the moon fucked me and dont forget to tell the dolphins in the north pole to tell santa i said fuck you!
541:your not gonna fucking believe who i just met!
503: who?
541: surgeon general, he offered me a damn cigarette
503: yeah right
541: dead serious then he stabbed a newborn
(302): Rufus, it’s a eLK :] hey babe I love you zo much
(71) but know, liar kurtz a in based before that and i couldnt go time liberty til then. that was hast warning.
(16) did you just say liberty?
(503) im so upset right now. Here I am building my future with my own two hands and you are dancing with my future ex wife. Ps.I am not being productive today. I am hiding in a room, sleeping on the floor so no one can find me. shhhh…….
